It has been a whirlwind of a summer, did it fly by fast or what? We stayed quite busy, but I had a rare week off over the kids first full week of school and I didn’t know what to do with myself. Naturally I sat on the couch most of the time thinking I should go do something or catch up on cleaning, but really I didn’t want to budge. Nothing got done but for the first time in months my head is not spinning with a bazillion things which is nice, I also got to dive into a pretty great book. Tomorrow starts my crazy busy season so for the next 2.5 months I will be running at full speed.
Many people have asked me over the last few months how I am losing weight, or for my “secret.” While there are a few things I do to maintain health, such as high ph water and generally watching what I eat to make sure it is primarily whole foods, I had been doing that for years and seeing a very slow but steady weight loss. The biggest change has been God. Well, not really God, He is never changing (also here, and here), but my relationship with Him has changed. You see I knew who God is, I loved Him, and I had a relationship with Him. However, I also liked food, and I desired food in ways that are socially acceptable, but fall under the lines and lies of gluttony. Gluttony is wanting more than you need, a desire for excess and the lie of our culture is that we earned it or deserve it. “I had a hard day, I am going to bake 2 dozen cookies and eat them while watching Netflix.” I was looking to brownies, tacos, pizza or whatever to relieve stress and for enjoyment instead of as nutrition to fuel my body. Before you leave thinking I am going to say no more sugar, fats or fun foods -nope. My daughter makes the most delicious cookies and I still savor them but I don’t find my joy in them, tacos are a routine meal around here, and I had pizza for lunch yesterday.
Last summer I encountered God in an amazing way, it is a rather personal story, but ultimately He showed me His love for me-and it is overwhelming and beautiful beyond comprehension. A few weeks later I noticed that a shift had taken place and I was no longer enjoying (putting my joy into) food, I was reaching for it for nutrition rather than to fill a void or time gap. I would eat what I needed and be done, no seconds, no clearing my plate-I started getting smaller portions so as not to waste. In the evening when I just wanted to munch I would start to ask do I need this, am I hungry, or am I trying to eat the day away? As I started to piece things together God started showing me areas I had been putting my reliance instead of on Him, food being a big one. I have noticed that on days where I spend less time focusing on Him I eat more to the point of “stuffed” whereas when I spend my day in worship that desire is non existent, there is more temptation when He isn’t a part of your whole day and life.
Over the last 6 years I have lost around 80 pounds, 30 of which has been in the last year. I do not weigh every day and try not to focus on the numbers but instead how I am feeling. I have more energy, but more exciting, for the first time in 9 years I can do push ups and sit ups! Pregnancies wreaked havoc on my stomach muscles and I didn’t think I would be able to ever do them again, but I can now and that is so exciting! I am sleeping better at night and overall it is just easier to move when you don’t feel full. More important than all of that though, I have grown closer to my Father and begun to get a glimpse of His desires and I have seen my desires start to change towards the focus of His.
So here are the pictures, ones I have started to post, then stopped, then started then stopped. Looking back I can say I got to this point during a very stressful time in life and I was certainly looking to food to distract me from it all. So here it goes:
So there is a tiny piece of my story. If you struggle with weight or temptations ask God to show you if you are using food or other things to replace your reliance on Him.